Sacagawea was the original milf.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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