We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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