True but thats because hes a fetus.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize