I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
