The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
