I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
