Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
