i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
