I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
