I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
wow bdsm is so cute
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
