He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
