Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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