Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
