she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
