clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
