i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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