i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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