Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
