wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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