I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
