i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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