I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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