We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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