ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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