Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
