It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
