The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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