If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize