Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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