were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize