Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
