Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
