I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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