she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
