So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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