Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
