i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
