There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We have started to decorate penises.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
