I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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