I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
