i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
