Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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