About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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