I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
