used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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