Quick, to the slutcave!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
