She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
