i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
