Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
