Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
