Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize