True but thats because hes a fetus.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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