do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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