I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
