I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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