when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
