Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
