Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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