just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All the doctor said was why
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
