She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize