I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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