Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
