i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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