I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
two words...techno handjob
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
