i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
